While I am going to write about my Happiness Project, I wanted to start out by writing about something else that is a whole lot more important to me. Sam is still on home IV's. While I know that he is going to get better, it is still something that is very stressful for both of us. He is a CPA, so he is smack dab in the middle of busy season, when he goes to the doctor, he has to stay at work even later than he normally would, he has to do iv's literally morning, afternoon, and nite. His weight has been flip flopping and his appetite has been less than stellar. I am not going to lie and say that this has not all sent me into a crying spell just about every other day.....or sometimes every day. Sam is usually not around for these little tear fests because I feel like it is not fair to him. He already has enough going on and has expressed to me that he already feels badly that we have to go thru this. Alot of my crying focused around obsessing about Sam having a shorter life span. What will happen to me if I am left by myself, what if we have kids and I have to raise them on my own? It is bad enough when I have to sleep in our bed alone when he goes into the hospital, but there is always the comfort of knowing that he is coming home. As much as I love to sleep sprawled out, I don't ever want to have to deal with a permanently empty bed. Sam always tells me to not worry about it. One day, I got into such a frenzy about it, I was just sobbing uncontrollably - my face was all red and soaked with tears, my eyes resembled Kermit the Frog's eyes, my nose was running like crazy and Sam reached his breaking point. He did something that he had never done before. He started to yell at me about it - telling me that I need to pull myself together, stop obsessing, stop crying. My actions were only making it difficult for him to deal with everything. He told me that he was too persistant to give in to some stupid disease. He grabbed my shoulders, looked me dead in the eyes and told me that he would never ever leave me alone. He will fight and he will keep fighting. He will never get tired and he will never give in. After that conversation, I have looked at him differently. If you look up the word persistant in the dictionary, you will find a picture of Sam. He is a fighter, my hero, my role model. Sam wakes up at 5:15 am Monday thru Saturday and never complains about it. He works 11-12 hours a day for 5 days a week and 6 hours on Saturdays and never once complains about being tired. He is my superman!
My Happiness Project is going very well, but I am running a little behind. At first, I was stressing myself out because I wanted to be on schedule and I did not want to disappoint myself, Sam, or the readers of my blog. I realized, though, that this is my project, so if I want to spend a little more time on an area, I am more than entitled to. Everyday we have to meet deadlines - paying bills by due dates, getting to work on time, getting to bed early, taking the dog out before she pees on the floor, and even finishing the milk before it starts to smell funny! Deadlines don't make people happy. They make you stressed out and this project is all about decreasing stress. I am enjoying clearing out the clutter, donating things, and throwing things away. I tackled my arts and crafts closet the other day - there are a ton of items in it, so I am not complete. There were several projects that I puchased things for, but I never started the projects - never the less finished them. I can guarantee that it will be a while before I set foot into a craft store to buy something. It is quite possible that I could open my own store. Once I am done with my arts and crafts closet, on to the basement I go. That is one area that I am eager to start working on. It will take a few days to sort thru everything, but I feel pretty confident that I will feel like a huge weight is being lifted off my shoulders. Realistically, I would like to be done by March 15th, so I am challenging myself to finish off this month's goals by then.
On a side note, we are having a major mold issue in our house. We had a mold guy come over this morning and he quoted us over $5,000 to get rid of it all in the basement, first and second floors, and the attic. Obviously we are not going to go with the first person and we are going to get some other estimates, but this is a really big job. The mold is something that has been weighing on both of our minds, so I am hoping that once it is taken care of, we will both breathe a little easier - Sam more than me!
Please update me on your Happiness Project progress. You can do it as little or as big as you would like. I got an e-mail from the author of the book the other day and she said that her book is going to be coming out in paperback soon. It is well worth the purchase, people!!!!! You only have one life, so live it to the fullest and make it the happiest! Next month, I will be working on improving myself physically and mentally. Stay tuned!!! But, Tamila, that does not necessarily mean that I will be coming to work all dolled up :-)
Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale
The flower that follows the sun does so even in cloudy days. ~Robert Leighton quotes
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Brown Lettuce and Blue Cheese!
So, I have gotten thru the first 10 days of my Happiness Project. During this time, I have been doing a lot of evaluating. Evaluating my actions and reactions, what makes me happy and what turns me into a ticking time bomb, the effects that my moods have had on others, and my relationships. I notice that I have had a tendency of using up all of my nice and happy on others and my husband bears the brunt of the Unhappiness Project. If he asks me to do something for him, such as make his lunch for the next day just after I settled on to the couch after working, or cleaning the kitchen, I make it very well known that this is not something that I am all that interested in doing. Although, I think I was kind of successful the other nite when I got home from work to find Sam stretched out on the couch watching CSI relaxing after he finished all of the leftovers leaving nothing for me to eat for dinner. I didn't blow up. I just served myself the remaining 5 lettuce leaves that could be salvaged out of the browning bag of salad and slathered it with blue cheese dressing.
I have noticed that I have decreased my complaining at work - I try not to complain when my body parts ache from moving someone, I have decreased declaring how tired I am, at the end of the day, I no longer tell the oncoming shift what a tough day the day shift had. When the resource nurse the other nite said that she heard it was a tough day, I just said, "No, it wasn't too bad." She looked at me with a suprised look on her face and I told her that we all got thru the day in one piece and that was good enough for me! When the physicians order all of the wrong tests and I get phone calls from every single department in the hospital telling me they can't do what was ordered because it was entered incorrectly, I do still get a little irritated. I am human still!
Part of this happiness project has been evaluating friendships. While it is nice in a perfect world to always think that people will be your friends forever, it does not always work that way. Moving on from relationships and friendships is sad, but it also helps with finding happiness. People make new friends, outgrow old ones, find more fun, new exciting ones, and move on. It happens and that is ok. Sometimes you can just give it the best effort you have and after that, it is time to move on. It is not giving up or accepting defeat, it is respecting differences.
You want to know what I part of the organizing I have actually achieved, don't you? Well, it has not been much. Things have been very hectic in our house. Cheyenne has had to go to the vet almost once a week and we got the news today that she has Cushing's Disease. The medication can be rather harsh on her, but we are optimistic that she will be ok. Work has had several call outs, and I worked some extra hours on Wednesday. I felt badly because I was not able to stay longer than 3 hours - that was the day Cheyenne went in for her blood tests. They called and asked if I could come in on Thursday as well, but I was zonked out when they called thanks to the sleeping pill I took. Sam is back on home iv's. The source of some of his recurring illness is coming from our house. More home projects, fun! One of the months further down the road is home imrovements, so it looks like it will be coming sooner than later. But I have succeeded in organizing some things. I have changed all of the hangers in the master bedroom closet to Huggable Hangers, I organized the closet in general, put the dust ruffles on the beds, follow my planner, make my lunch at nite, just to name a few.
I hope I can inspire others to follow along with my Happiness Project. There are some of my co-workers who have showed some interest. I definitely think that people can benefit from this! I would love to hear feedback if anyone else is doing their own Happiness Project.
"Being happy is something you have to learn. I often surprise myself by saying "Wow, this is it. I guess I'm happy. I got a home I love. A career that I love. I'm even feeling more and more at peace with myself." If there's something else to happiness, let me know. I'm ambitious for that, too." - Harrison Ford
I have noticed that I have decreased my complaining at work - I try not to complain when my body parts ache from moving someone, I have decreased declaring how tired I am, at the end of the day, I no longer tell the oncoming shift what a tough day the day shift had. When the resource nurse the other nite said that she heard it was a tough day, I just said, "No, it wasn't too bad." She looked at me with a suprised look on her face and I told her that we all got thru the day in one piece and that was good enough for me! When the physicians order all of the wrong tests and I get phone calls from every single department in the hospital telling me they can't do what was ordered because it was entered incorrectly, I do still get a little irritated. I am human still!
Part of this happiness project has been evaluating friendships. While it is nice in a perfect world to always think that people will be your friends forever, it does not always work that way. Moving on from relationships and friendships is sad, but it also helps with finding happiness. People make new friends, outgrow old ones, find more fun, new exciting ones, and move on. It happens and that is ok. Sometimes you can just give it the best effort you have and after that, it is time to move on. It is not giving up or accepting defeat, it is respecting differences.
You want to know what I part of the organizing I have actually achieved, don't you? Well, it has not been much. Things have been very hectic in our house. Cheyenne has had to go to the vet almost once a week and we got the news today that she has Cushing's Disease. The medication can be rather harsh on her, but we are optimistic that she will be ok. Work has had several call outs, and I worked some extra hours on Wednesday. I felt badly because I was not able to stay longer than 3 hours - that was the day Cheyenne went in for her blood tests. They called and asked if I could come in on Thursday as well, but I was zonked out when they called thanks to the sleeping pill I took. Sam is back on home iv's. The source of some of his recurring illness is coming from our house. More home projects, fun! One of the months further down the road is home imrovements, so it looks like it will be coming sooner than later. But I have succeeded in organizing some things. I have changed all of the hangers in the master bedroom closet to Huggable Hangers, I organized the closet in general, put the dust ruffles on the beds, follow my planner, make my lunch at nite, just to name a few.
I hope I can inspire others to follow along with my Happiness Project. There are some of my co-workers who have showed some interest. I definitely think that people can benefit from this! I would love to hear feedback if anyone else is doing their own Happiness Project.
"Being happy is something you have to learn. I often surprise myself by saying "Wow, this is it. I guess I'm happy. I got a home I love. A career that I love. I'm even feeling more and more at peace with myself." If there's something else to happiness, let me know. I'm ambitious for that, too." - Harrison Ford
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
How much happiness can my heart hold?
Holy smokes! It has been a really, really long time since I have posted on here. Our wedding was just magical. It was better than I ever could have imagined. We were surrounded by all of the people we love and care about. I will write and post pictures about the wedding and our fantabulous honeymoon in a later blog.
For this blog, I wanted to share the new journey I am embarking on. It is called "The Happiness Project". This is based on a book, "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. While I will be using her book as a guideline, I will not be following her project to a T. Obviously, she and I have different things in life that make us happy. But there are some areas that did overlap, so it was nice to get some concrete ideas on how to achieve certain things.
I want to start off by saying that I am already happy. I have a wonderful, loving husband, a fantastic, loyal dog, a beautiful house, my dream job - the list goes on. But, I do feel like there is always more room for improvement. Honestly, I feel like one can never be too happy. This journey lasts one year - and yes, I know that I am starting in the month of February and it is not the first day of the month, but as I was reading the book, I got a head start on the first month. I have been wanting to do this for about a year now, but with wedding planning, the holidays, etc, it was kind of difficult to dedicate myself to this. I know those just sound like excuses, but I really wanted to be able to put my all into it. That is just how important this is to me.
So what exactly does this entail? Each month, for the next 12 months, I am going to focus on a different aspect of my life. I already have them planned out, for the most part, but they might change, so I will post what the month's goal is at the beginning of the month. Some goals will be easier than others, but I guess that is like all projects. The author of the book has come up with 12 Personal Commandments that she follows on a daily basis. Competitive as I am, I of course, had to come up with 16 Personal Commandments.
My 16 Personal Commandments:
1. Be Marisa - Ok, so this one I took from the author, except hers was Be Gretchen.
2. Live each day to the fullest - make the most out of my days off. When you start to see the same re-runs of game shows, it is time to get off the couch and get moving!
3. Stop and smell the roses. BREATHE! - I even bought a freshly cut roses candle from Yankee Candle Company yesterday to honor this commandment. I also have a silver stone with BREATHE engraved on it.
4. Don't stew, don't pout, forget the bad stuff. - I hold on to things for way too long and just get more and more angry as the time goes. I am a perpetual pouter. Sam tells me at least once a day to stop pouting!
5. Be nice, be fair. - It is much easier to say something negative than to find the good in others. I already try to stay away from gossip, but sometimes it is not possible. I form opinions rather quickly so I need to start giving people a chance. Also, I need to stop saying mean things about the doctors because, without fail, they always appear 2 seconds later and I am paranoid that they were listening around the corner!
6. Be true, follow my heart. - I ask for every one's opinions about everything. I want a stamp of approval with everything. I need to start making my own decisions. I need to honor my creative side, do more arts and crafts, and nurture my passions.
7. Exude confidence, be fearless. - Again, I feel like this has to do with wanting a stamp of approval. I can be so timid about things and doubt myself. I need to go with the flow!
8. Surround myself with positive people. - I know a whole bunch of negative people and I really feel like it is time to weed them out. Not that it is completely their fault for my sometimes being negative, but it is hard for me to be happy when I have others complaining and dragging my down.
9. It is ok to say no! - And if I don't want to give you an explanation, I don't have to.
10. I can't please everyone. - I need to start worrying about my own feelings and if I don't want to do something, I'm not going to. Although, this does exclude stool samples, sputum samples, urine samples......well you get the point!
11. Spoil myself and those around me. - This does not necessarily mean with material items. Spoil with love, affection, kindness, caring! Although material things are nice every once in a while.
12. Believe in miracles. - A cure for CF and a baby are the 2 that I am focusing on. I want to become more in touch with my spirituality. I feel like I have strayed a little bit from my beliefs.
13. Laugh. - Laugh at myself and laugh at others (but not in a mean way!). Get more joy out of everything.
14. Look your best, act your best, feel your best. - I don't always straighten my hair, wear makeup, get dressed up. I whine, complain and am moody. I focus on feeling tired, stuffy, and sore. I need to act how I want to feel.
15. Everything will be ok. - Yesterday, I was on my way to my hair appointment, stressed out, running late, feeling overwhelmed. I was stopped at a light and looked to my left and saw a gigantic sign that was painted next to an art gallery. A plain white sign with black capital letters that read "Everything will be ok". And it will.
16. Remember love. - Love myself, love those around me, love nature, love it all!
For the month of February, the first task that I will be tackling is (drum roll, please!) Get it together, Marisa! What, you ask, is Get it together, Marisa!? I need to get organized, and fast. My recipes are in a gigantic accordion folder with no rhyme or reason, photos are in a huge Tupperware, my quotes and magazine clippings are mixed in with my recipes, Valentine's, St. Patrick's, Easter, 4th of July decorations are strewn across my basement, arts and crafts supplies litter our spare bedroom, towers of sweaters fill our closet, boxes of shoes and clothes clutter our spare bedroom closet, rapidly multiplying dust bunnies float across the floor. Do you get the picture? This month, I want to work on getting myself organized.
If anyone is interested on embarking on this journey with me, that would be great. I would love to hear about things other people want to work on. Perhaps some of the things others want to work on would benefit me as well. Success happens in groups! I am sure that you are all just dying to see my progress with this, so I will definitely post more often :-)
"Don't agonize - organize!" - Florynce Kennedy
"If you can organize your kitchen, you can organize your life." - Louis Parrish
“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you” - Nathaniel Hawthorne
For this blog, I wanted to share the new journey I am embarking on. It is called "The Happiness Project". This is based on a book, "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. While I will be using her book as a guideline, I will not be following her project to a T. Obviously, she and I have different things in life that make us happy. But there are some areas that did overlap, so it was nice to get some concrete ideas on how to achieve certain things.
I want to start off by saying that I am already happy. I have a wonderful, loving husband, a fantastic, loyal dog, a beautiful house, my dream job - the list goes on. But, I do feel like there is always more room for improvement. Honestly, I feel like one can never be too happy. This journey lasts one year - and yes, I know that I am starting in the month of February and it is not the first day of the month, but as I was reading the book, I got a head start on the first month. I have been wanting to do this for about a year now, but with wedding planning, the holidays, etc, it was kind of difficult to dedicate myself to this. I know those just sound like excuses, but I really wanted to be able to put my all into it. That is just how important this is to me.
So what exactly does this entail? Each month, for the next 12 months, I am going to focus on a different aspect of my life. I already have them planned out, for the most part, but they might change, so I will post what the month's goal is at the beginning of the month. Some goals will be easier than others, but I guess that is like all projects. The author of the book has come up with 12 Personal Commandments that she follows on a daily basis. Competitive as I am, I of course, had to come up with 16 Personal Commandments.
My 16 Personal Commandments:
1. Be Marisa - Ok, so this one I took from the author, except hers was Be Gretchen.
2. Live each day to the fullest - make the most out of my days off. When you start to see the same re-runs of game shows, it is time to get off the couch and get moving!
3. Stop and smell the roses. BREATHE! - I even bought a freshly cut roses candle from Yankee Candle Company yesterday to honor this commandment. I also have a silver stone with BREATHE engraved on it.
4. Don't stew, don't pout, forget the bad stuff. - I hold on to things for way too long and just get more and more angry as the time goes. I am a perpetual pouter. Sam tells me at least once a day to stop pouting!
5. Be nice, be fair. - It is much easier to say something negative than to find the good in others. I already try to stay away from gossip, but sometimes it is not possible. I form opinions rather quickly so I need to start giving people a chance. Also, I need to stop saying mean things about the doctors because, without fail, they always appear 2 seconds later and I am paranoid that they were listening around the corner!
6. Be true, follow my heart. - I ask for every one's opinions about everything. I want a stamp of approval with everything. I need to start making my own decisions. I need to honor my creative side, do more arts and crafts, and nurture my passions.
7. Exude confidence, be fearless. - Again, I feel like this has to do with wanting a stamp of approval. I can be so timid about things and doubt myself. I need to go with the flow!
8. Surround myself with positive people. - I know a whole bunch of negative people and I really feel like it is time to weed them out. Not that it is completely their fault for my sometimes being negative, but it is hard for me to be happy when I have others complaining and dragging my down.
9. It is ok to say no! - And if I don't want to give you an explanation, I don't have to.
10. I can't please everyone. - I need to start worrying about my own feelings and if I don't want to do something, I'm not going to. Although, this does exclude stool samples, sputum samples, urine samples......well you get the point!
11. Spoil myself and those around me. - This does not necessarily mean with material items. Spoil with love, affection, kindness, caring! Although material things are nice every once in a while.
12. Believe in miracles. - A cure for CF and a baby are the 2 that I am focusing on. I want to become more in touch with my spirituality. I feel like I have strayed a little bit from my beliefs.
13. Laugh. - Laugh at myself and laugh at others (but not in a mean way!). Get more joy out of everything.
14. Look your best, act your best, feel your best. - I don't always straighten my hair, wear makeup, get dressed up. I whine, complain and am moody. I focus on feeling tired, stuffy, and sore. I need to act how I want to feel.
15. Everything will be ok. - Yesterday, I was on my way to my hair appointment, stressed out, running late, feeling overwhelmed. I was stopped at a light and looked to my left and saw a gigantic sign that was painted next to an art gallery. A plain white sign with black capital letters that read "Everything will be ok". And it will.
16. Remember love. - Love myself, love those around me, love nature, love it all!
For the month of February, the first task that I will be tackling is (drum roll, please!) Get it together, Marisa! What, you ask, is Get it together, Marisa!? I need to get organized, and fast. My recipes are in a gigantic accordion folder with no rhyme or reason, photos are in a huge Tupperware, my quotes and magazine clippings are mixed in with my recipes, Valentine's, St. Patrick's, Easter, 4th of July decorations are strewn across my basement, arts and crafts supplies litter our spare bedroom, towers of sweaters fill our closet, boxes of shoes and clothes clutter our spare bedroom closet, rapidly multiplying dust bunnies float across the floor. Do you get the picture? This month, I want to work on getting myself organized.
If anyone is interested on embarking on this journey with me, that would be great. I would love to hear about things other people want to work on. Perhaps some of the things others want to work on would benefit me as well. Success happens in groups! I am sure that you are all just dying to see my progress with this, so I will definitely post more often :-)
"Don't agonize - organize!" - Florynce Kennedy
"If you can organize your kitchen, you can organize your life." - Louis Parrish
“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you” - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Milestones and Miracles
We are officially 33 days away from the wedding. Still so many things to do. I am trying to get as much done on my days off as possible and, as for right now, it is working. And that is good enough for right now. I feel like there are so many other things for us to be focusing on that the wedding is kind of taking the back-burner. As many of you know, Sam was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks again. It was kind of a wake up call for me. Many people would ask me how the wedding planning was going and that was the first time that I realized that I was not like the typical bride basking in all of the glory and the attention. Brides generally use this time to be selfish and rightfully so. They want to talk about the wedding and nothing else. They eat, sleep, work, and dream wedding. They watch endless hours of Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings, Say Yes to the Dress, and My Fair Wedding. Meanwhile, I was driving to the hospital every nite after working 13 or 14 hours in another hospital to sit with my groom to be. I knew Sam was going into the hospital, but I was not expecting it to happen on the day that it did. I did not get to give him a huge hug and make sure he had everything he needed to go in. I did not realize they would already have a bed waiting for him when he went to see his doctor. That nite, on my drive home from seeing Sam on that first nite, I did something that I had not done before. I took a moment after getting back into my car at almost 11 pm and just thought. And the wave hit me like it never had before. My eyes welled up with tears and I knew that my life would never be "normal" again. This was my new normal. I called my mom and started talking to her and before I knew it, I started to cry a little. I am not a very confident driver when I am not crying and at this point, I had been awake from 18 hours and worked for 13 of those, so imagine what it was like for me to be driving at this point. So I just sat there, driving and sobbing about how this should be the happiest time of my life and Sam was in the hospital, sick. I felt selfish for doing that because I was not the one in a hospital bed, but instead was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't be a selfish bride. Once the reality hit that I was able to sleep in my own bed, I snapped out of my pity party.
The next day, I was walking the dog and stood and stared at our front lawn. The grass was embarrassingly tall next to my neighbors' lawns who cut them practically every day it seemed like. I whipped out my cell phone and called Sam. He sounded so happy to hear from me, but yet he was greeted by me yelling at him about what our lawn looked like. He felt terribly and tried to explain that he was planning on coming home from the doctor and mowing the lawn before going into the hospital but couldn't do that because they had a bed waiting for him. I yelled, "Whatever!" into the phone and hung up. Stomping along the street, I continued to walk the dog and admire all of the other beautiful lawns on my street. Cheyenne just bopped along and did her stuff. I was glad that she was done so quickly because that meant that I did not have to stare at all of the other houses. As I got back to our lawn again, I started to think about what all of the neighbors must be saying about us and how they were probably judging us. I started to get even more angry because they had no clue what was going on behind our beautifully wreathed front door and they would think that we were just lazy. They didn't know that the young man that lived there who gave a healthy appearance was anything but. So, I did what any scared, angry girl would do. I brought the dog inside, finished packing all of Sam's belongings that he would need for his stay, set the alarm, hopped in the car, and called my dad. I started to sob again as soon as I heard him say, "Hey! How's my little girl doing today?" I told him how angry I was about the lawn and that I wanted the back yard cleaned up and that I was going to have to mow the lawn tomorrow, blah, blah, blah. My dad did what every loving dad would do and said, "What time do you want me over there tomorrow morning?" We talked a little and my dad asked me if I wanted to stay at his house while Sam was in the hospital. I would have loved to, but I really just wanted to be alone. After I hung up with my dad, I realized that the lawn was just a way for me to take out my anger and sadness and that it was not the lawn that was bothering me, but it was simply the only thing that I could possibly control at the moment. The next day, I mowed the front lawn by myself. With each blade of grass that I cut, I felt like I was getting something done, but it also made me sad. I started to think if I would ever be the only person who could cut the lawn because Sam would not be able to do it any more or if his fight with CF would be a losing battle. My dad came over and we cleaned the front yard and the back yard. It felt very liberating to be able to get it done and I really wanted to surprise Sam when he got home. He was so grateful when he saw it.
I am wondering how I will do getting thru our wedding vows. When we get to the point where we need to say "In sickness and in health", I wonder if we will ever have the opportunity to actually have 100% health. I would think that this is not something that most brides need to think about so soon in life. Several years ago, I suffered from depression. Very severe depression. I was hospitalized 2 times in 18 months for it. Even though I got thru it, I worry about my coping skills and if it will ever creep back up on me again. The whole time Sam was in the hospital, I kept very busy - from the moment I woke up in the morning until the moment I fell asleep. People kept telling me that I needed to take time for myself and do something for myself, but I was afraid that if I did take time to stop, I would think too much and that would not be in my best interest. Just to give you an example of how desperate I was to keep busy, I actually took dish washing detergent and a scrubby sponge and scrubbed each individual tile on our kitchen floor. It took me about 4 hours to complete, but it kept me busy and it was a great way to get out my anger.
I also used this time to meet up with my friend, Stephanie, and grab a cup of coffee with her. She lent a great ear and listened to me. I feel badly because I made her cry when I was telling her about all of the mixed emotions I was having about this time in my life. After thinking about it, I realized that if I was not in the situation myself and heard about it, I would be sad for the person going thru this. I told Stephanie about how I was having trouble sympathizing with people who were complaining about trivial things when they had their health and their loved ones has their health. It saddened me to walk into Sam's hospital room and see him on oxygen and get out of breath just walking down the hallway. It scared me when Sam called me up one nite to tell me that he had coughed up a ridiculously stupid amount of blood and that he thought he was going to have to go into surgery and wanted to call me to tell me he loved me in case he died during the surgery.
Last nite, we went to a party and I was so sad before we left because Sam is now on home iv's and another dose of 3 different IV antibiotics were going to be due while we were out. He was nervous about having to do them while we were out and there would be some people there that did not know his situation and he might have to explain. He did handle it gracefully, though, when someone asked and he told them it was an IV of vodka going straight into his veins. I just feel like life can be so unfair because Sam is having to go thru this. How can I focus on flowers and favors and cakes?
Now that Sam is home, I am getting more excited about the wedding, but I am hoping that as the date draws even closer, I will be even more excited. When Sam was born, the life expectancy of someone with cystic fibrosis was less than 20 years old. Thanks to Sam's parents, doctors, advances in CF medications and treatments, and most importantly, Sam's dedication and will to live, he is a college graduate with a Master's degree in Accounting as well as a CPA. He will be getting married, which was unheard of for CF patients at the time of Sam's birth. This is a huge milestone for him and I am beyond thrilled that he chose me to share this with him. We are grateful for the people that will be taking time out of their busy schedules to join us on our special day. It means so much to us that those people will be celebrating this miracle with us.
Please remember to hug your spouses, family, and friends and tell them that you love them, but most importantly, make sure you mean it. Celebrate each day as though it is a gift because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Listen to your partner and share in their interests even if you don't think that you will like them. Take time out of your busy schedules to celebrate the miracles and milestones in life. You never know just how important they are to others and how they might be affected by it.
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle. ~Marianne Williamson
The next day, I was walking the dog and stood and stared at our front lawn. The grass was embarrassingly tall next to my neighbors' lawns who cut them practically every day it seemed like. I whipped out my cell phone and called Sam. He sounded so happy to hear from me, but yet he was greeted by me yelling at him about what our lawn looked like. He felt terribly and tried to explain that he was planning on coming home from the doctor and mowing the lawn before going into the hospital but couldn't do that because they had a bed waiting for him. I yelled, "Whatever!" into the phone and hung up. Stomping along the street, I continued to walk the dog and admire all of the other beautiful lawns on my street. Cheyenne just bopped along and did her stuff. I was glad that she was done so quickly because that meant that I did not have to stare at all of the other houses. As I got back to our lawn again, I started to think about what all of the neighbors must be saying about us and how they were probably judging us. I started to get even more angry because they had no clue what was going on behind our beautifully wreathed front door and they would think that we were just lazy. They didn't know that the young man that lived there who gave a healthy appearance was anything but. So, I did what any scared, angry girl would do. I brought the dog inside, finished packing all of Sam's belongings that he would need for his stay, set the alarm, hopped in the car, and called my dad. I started to sob again as soon as I heard him say, "Hey! How's my little girl doing today?" I told him how angry I was about the lawn and that I wanted the back yard cleaned up and that I was going to have to mow the lawn tomorrow, blah, blah, blah. My dad did what every loving dad would do and said, "What time do you want me over there tomorrow morning?" We talked a little and my dad asked me if I wanted to stay at his house while Sam was in the hospital. I would have loved to, but I really just wanted to be alone. After I hung up with my dad, I realized that the lawn was just a way for me to take out my anger and sadness and that it was not the lawn that was bothering me, but it was simply the only thing that I could possibly control at the moment. The next day, I mowed the front lawn by myself. With each blade of grass that I cut, I felt like I was getting something done, but it also made me sad. I started to think if I would ever be the only person who could cut the lawn because Sam would not be able to do it any more or if his fight with CF would be a losing battle. My dad came over and we cleaned the front yard and the back yard. It felt very liberating to be able to get it done and I really wanted to surprise Sam when he got home. He was so grateful when he saw it.
I am wondering how I will do getting thru our wedding vows. When we get to the point where we need to say "In sickness and in health", I wonder if we will ever have the opportunity to actually have 100% health. I would think that this is not something that most brides need to think about so soon in life. Several years ago, I suffered from depression. Very severe depression. I was hospitalized 2 times in 18 months for it. Even though I got thru it, I worry about my coping skills and if it will ever creep back up on me again. The whole time Sam was in the hospital, I kept very busy - from the moment I woke up in the morning until the moment I fell asleep. People kept telling me that I needed to take time for myself and do something for myself, but I was afraid that if I did take time to stop, I would think too much and that would not be in my best interest. Just to give you an example of how desperate I was to keep busy, I actually took dish washing detergent and a scrubby sponge and scrubbed each individual tile on our kitchen floor. It took me about 4 hours to complete, but it kept me busy and it was a great way to get out my anger.
I also used this time to meet up with my friend, Stephanie, and grab a cup of coffee with her. She lent a great ear and listened to me. I feel badly because I made her cry when I was telling her about all of the mixed emotions I was having about this time in my life. After thinking about it, I realized that if I was not in the situation myself and heard about it, I would be sad for the person going thru this. I told Stephanie about how I was having trouble sympathizing with people who were complaining about trivial things when they had their health and their loved ones has their health. It saddened me to walk into Sam's hospital room and see him on oxygen and get out of breath just walking down the hallway. It scared me when Sam called me up one nite to tell me that he had coughed up a ridiculously stupid amount of blood and that he thought he was going to have to go into surgery and wanted to call me to tell me he loved me in case he died during the surgery.
Last nite, we went to a party and I was so sad before we left because Sam is now on home iv's and another dose of 3 different IV antibiotics were going to be due while we were out. He was nervous about having to do them while we were out and there would be some people there that did not know his situation and he might have to explain. He did handle it gracefully, though, when someone asked and he told them it was an IV of vodka going straight into his veins. I just feel like life can be so unfair because Sam is having to go thru this. How can I focus on flowers and favors and cakes?
Now that Sam is home, I am getting more excited about the wedding, but I am hoping that as the date draws even closer, I will be even more excited. When Sam was born, the life expectancy of someone with cystic fibrosis was less than 20 years old. Thanks to Sam's parents, doctors, advances in CF medications and treatments, and most importantly, Sam's dedication and will to live, he is a college graduate with a Master's degree in Accounting as well as a CPA. He will be getting married, which was unheard of for CF patients at the time of Sam's birth. This is a huge milestone for him and I am beyond thrilled that he chose me to share this with him. We are grateful for the people that will be taking time out of their busy schedules to join us on our special day. It means so much to us that those people will be celebrating this miracle with us.
Please remember to hug your spouses, family, and friends and tell them that you love them, but most importantly, make sure you mean it. Celebrate each day as though it is a gift because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Listen to your partner and share in their interests even if you don't think that you will like them. Take time out of your busy schedules to celebrate the miracles and milestones in life. You never know just how important they are to others and how they might be affected by it.
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle. ~Marianne Williamson
Monday, July 26, 2010
Food, fun, family, friends, and.....A Raccoon????
It has been quite a while since I have written.....yet again! Things have been going relatively well. Work is getting better as I am learning new things and adjusting to different people's personalities. In the beginning, people would often say, "You don't know how to do that?!?!?!?!" While I wanted to answer, "No, I don't and neither did you when you started nursing, so stop making me feel dumb and help me!", I would just politely say no. I have gotten over the fact that I was afraid to ask questions. I have gotten over a parent saying that she did not like me. I have gotten over people thinking that I am not as skilled as I should be and accepted the fact that they will not be calling me to perform brain surgery any time soon.
This summer has been going by rather quickly. My mom, sister, niece, and brother-in-law came to visit. We had a great time. My sister and mom threw me a fabulous bridal shower. So many friends were there, the decorations were great, the favors were adorable, and the food - well, anyone who has ever been to one of Dana's Chrismas parties knows what the food is like. But this was like her Christmas party on steroids. It was insane!!!! My niece was the hit of the party, as well as Ryann. Ryann is the daughter of my friend, Shannan. Shannan came all the way from North Carolina for my shower and it was a huge suprise. I got to catch up with college friends, Zeta sisters, former co-workers, neighbors, and I also got to meet some of Mrs. Byram's friends. My dad played bar tender and he did a great job. Dana made a champagne punch that was incredible and I would be thrilled if I could have it permanently in my fridge!
We spent a day at the aquarium. I loved it!!! I would like to move in with the sea otters or the penguins, but I don't think I would be allowed to. Never in a million years would I ever think that I would fall in love with a sting ray, but I did. They are really cute. When you first walk into the aquarium, there is a touch tank of sting rays and mini sharks. I actually pet some sting rays and some sharks. My family had to drag me away from them because I kept going back to see them. And I also did something that I never thought I would do. Anyone that knows me well knows that I am petrified of shrimp. Yes, cooked shrimp. They really just scare me. Well, I pet a live shrimp. A real live shrimp!!!! After the aquarium, we went to the Varsity where we all proceeded to eat too many slaw dogs, chili dogs, french fries, onion rings, and coke. I am just hoping I will be able to fit in my wedding dress now. If not, it was well worth it!
And what summer would not be complete without a leak in the HVAC system that causes the ceiling to fall in? Yup! Our ceiling in the master bedroom fell in. It was just charming. Imagine getting home from a wedding, Sam going up to the attic to see what the issue was, hearing Sam say, "Uh-oh", and then going into the bedroom only to be able to see his face in the ceiling. It was quite the shocker. He thought for sure that I was going to scream, but I didn't. I actually laughed. Very hard. But Sam did a great job putting the pipes back together. My dad and I pulled down the old ceiling and put up the new one.
The wedding planning is coming along splendidly! We have a little more than 2 months to go. Very scary! We just recently started our marriage preparation classes with our sponsor couple. They are a really sweet couple and they seem to rather in tune to us. They are kind of like the older version of Sam and myself. They have helped us sort out some things that have been the topic of not so fab discussions. We have these workbooks that we have to do before we see them and it really helps to cover topics that we really never thought about. We have learned so much about each other.
There are still a few things that need to be done for the wedding day. I still have to figure out who will be doing my hair and make up and what I will even look like that day. The favors and programs still need to be done, as well as figure out which kind of cake we want. Then there is the whole shoes thing. My surrogate aunt gave me the shoes that I will be wearing for my reception. She knows me very well and she made the perfect pair for me! I don't want to ruin the suprise, but here is a hint - sequins!!!! I love them!!! But as for the shoes that I will be wearing for the ceremony, I still don't have those yet. Plus, there are several ideas that I have that I need to start working on or they will not be done in time for the wedding day. But some of it relies on how many people will be coming, so I guess I am not totally procrastinating. I don't really have a choice but to procrastinate. Or at least that is what I am going to keep telling myself. My mom and sister are coming back down here on August 9, so little do they know, they will be sucked into helping me with everything.
Sam and I picked out our wedding rings today. It was really weird to see a ring on Sam's finger. I told him to make sure he picked out one that he really liked because it would be on his finger for the rest of his life. We had a great time picking them out and we both got the rings that we wanted. Our jeweler is a great guy. His stuff is beautiful. I get tons of compliments on my engagement ring and I made sure to tell him that today. So if you are ever looking for a good jeweler, let me know!
Aside from the possum, or should I say possums as it seems to be there are more than one, we have a few more added friends to our nitely deck feeding sessions. There is also Tigger the cat and Rhoda the raccoon. I am sure it is just a matter of time before our neighbors call animal control, but we can't resist. They are all so cute!
Well, I think those are the latest updates on everything. If I left anything out, I am sure that I will be updating again in another 3 months. No, honestly, I am going to start to write a little more often. I hope everyone in blogger land is doing well. I know I have a ton of fans out there, so I just want to make sure you are all well :-)
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."
Winnie the Pooh
This summer has been going by rather quickly. My mom, sister, niece, and brother-in-law came to visit. We had a great time. My sister and mom threw me a fabulous bridal shower. So many friends were there, the decorations were great, the favors were adorable, and the food - well, anyone who has ever been to one of Dana's Chrismas parties knows what the food is like. But this was like her Christmas party on steroids. It was insane!!!! My niece was the hit of the party, as well as Ryann. Ryann is the daughter of my friend, Shannan. Shannan came all the way from North Carolina for my shower and it was a huge suprise. I got to catch up with college friends, Zeta sisters, former co-workers, neighbors, and I also got to meet some of Mrs. Byram's friends. My dad played bar tender and he did a great job. Dana made a champagne punch that was incredible and I would be thrilled if I could have it permanently in my fridge!
We spent a day at the aquarium. I loved it!!! I would like to move in with the sea otters or the penguins, but I don't think I would be allowed to. Never in a million years would I ever think that I would fall in love with a sting ray, but I did. They are really cute. When you first walk into the aquarium, there is a touch tank of sting rays and mini sharks. I actually pet some sting rays and some sharks. My family had to drag me away from them because I kept going back to see them. And I also did something that I never thought I would do. Anyone that knows me well knows that I am petrified of shrimp. Yes, cooked shrimp. They really just scare me. Well, I pet a live shrimp. A real live shrimp!!!! After the aquarium, we went to the Varsity where we all proceeded to eat too many slaw dogs, chili dogs, french fries, onion rings, and coke. I am just hoping I will be able to fit in my wedding dress now. If not, it was well worth it!
And what summer would not be complete without a leak in the HVAC system that causes the ceiling to fall in? Yup! Our ceiling in the master bedroom fell in. It was just charming. Imagine getting home from a wedding, Sam going up to the attic to see what the issue was, hearing Sam say, "Uh-oh", and then going into the bedroom only to be able to see his face in the ceiling. It was quite the shocker. He thought for sure that I was going to scream, but I didn't. I actually laughed. Very hard. But Sam did a great job putting the pipes back together. My dad and I pulled down the old ceiling and put up the new one.
The wedding planning is coming along splendidly! We have a little more than 2 months to go. Very scary! We just recently started our marriage preparation classes with our sponsor couple. They are a really sweet couple and they seem to rather in tune to us. They are kind of like the older version of Sam and myself. They have helped us sort out some things that have been the topic of not so fab discussions. We have these workbooks that we have to do before we see them and it really helps to cover topics that we really never thought about. We have learned so much about each other.
There are still a few things that need to be done for the wedding day. I still have to figure out who will be doing my hair and make up and what I will even look like that day. The favors and programs still need to be done, as well as figure out which kind of cake we want. Then there is the whole shoes thing. My surrogate aunt gave me the shoes that I will be wearing for my reception. She knows me very well and she made the perfect pair for me! I don't want to ruin the suprise, but here is a hint - sequins!!!! I love them!!! But as for the shoes that I will be wearing for the ceremony, I still don't have those yet. Plus, there are several ideas that I have that I need to start working on or they will not be done in time for the wedding day. But some of it relies on how many people will be coming, so I guess I am not totally procrastinating. I don't really have a choice but to procrastinate. Or at least that is what I am going to keep telling myself. My mom and sister are coming back down here on August 9, so little do they know, they will be sucked into helping me with everything.
Sam and I picked out our wedding rings today. It was really weird to see a ring on Sam's finger. I told him to make sure he picked out one that he really liked because it would be on his finger for the rest of his life. We had a great time picking them out and we both got the rings that we wanted. Our jeweler is a great guy. His stuff is beautiful. I get tons of compliments on my engagement ring and I made sure to tell him that today. So if you are ever looking for a good jeweler, let me know!
Aside from the possum, or should I say possums as it seems to be there are more than one, we have a few more added friends to our nitely deck feeding sessions. There is also Tigger the cat and Rhoda the raccoon. I am sure it is just a matter of time before our neighbors call animal control, but we can't resist. They are all so cute!
Well, I think those are the latest updates on everything. If I left anything out, I am sure that I will be updating again in another 3 months. No, honestly, I am going to start to write a little more often. I hope everyone in blogger land is doing well. I know I have a ton of fans out there, so I just want to make sure you are all well :-)
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."
Winnie the Pooh
Saturday, May 15, 2010
A little laundry can't ruin my excitement!
Boy, have I been a slacker! I have about 5 blog entries that I started and I have not finished. Most of my time recently has been dedicated to tanning and going to the gym. Sorry, I guess I just had to add some humor. While I was able to do those things while I was working day shift, I am not able to do those on nite shift. My time has been dedicated to wedding planning and working. Working nite shift has kind of cut back on my productivity. There is just no way that I can justify doing laundry at 3 a.m. I always say that I am going to do it, but it never pans out. I find most of my days, ahem, nites lounging on the couch attempting to cross things off my to-do list. But I find myself doing more internet surfing, mahjongg playing, and Penelope the Possum watching. Sam has been doing a good job of hiding his disappointment of the piles of dishes increasing in the sink, the towers of papers growing on the kitchen table and the mounds of clean clothes taking over the top of the refrigerator. No, no, you did not read that incorrectly. There is a mound of clean clothes on top of the fridge. Sam thought it would be a brilliant idea to put a mini-fridge in our bedroom. I tried to explain to him that it would be yet one more thing for crap to pile up on. I hate to say I told you so. But.....well, just read the previous sentence.
As for the new chapters in my life. I have my dream job. I work at a wonderful children's hospital in Atlanta. I work with predominantly cystic fibrosis, respiratory, GI, and diabetes patients. Thanks to Sam, I would like to think that I might know at least the basics of cystic fibrosis so that makes that aspect of my job a little easier. My school prepared me rather well for what I would face at my new job, but there are so many things that just kind of creep up on you. Changing a diaper for example. Changed plenty of pee pee diapers on my niece, but if there was anything else in it, she was handed off to Mimi or my sister. Perhaps it did not look very good when, on my first day at work, I had to change my first poopy diaper. Let's just say it kind of came back to bite me in the butt. Things also don't always go as planned in the nursing world. Normally, you put the blood pressure cuff on and you hit the little button and VOILA you have your bp. Yeah, not quite the case when you have a child squirming and screaming and kicking. You see, the machine does not actually pick up the reading. In nursing school, they teach you how to deal with children on their level. To get a child to let you do whatever it is that you need to do simply requires demonstrating on their teddy bear. According to my text books, they stop crying when you do this and they allow you to do whatever nursing task that needs to be completed. Yeah, so not the case. Sometimes, it makes them scream even louder. So much louder that one's nose starts to bleed! As time goes on, I know that all of this will get easier and it will become second nature to me. This is my dream - staying up all nite really is a small sacrifice in comparison to the fact that I have the initials RN after my name. I mean, you have to be getting accustomed to the nursing world when you are trying to fall asleep at 9:30 am after working the whole nite and all you hear are birds chirping and the repetitive sound of an IV pump beeping ingrained in your head, right?
On to the wedding planning! Thanks to the help of my mom, dad, and sister, as well as Sam for putting up with 50,000 phone calls, the major wedding planning was done in 3 days. The venue, florist, bridal party dresses, limos, photographer, my dress, mom's dress and shoes, and church were all booked. I guess working at the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation paid off! I may be lacking talent in some areas, but apparently wedding planning comes rather naturally to me. The invitations were ordered from the printer last week and our en route to our house as of May 13th. The guest list is complete, the flower arrangements are designed, and we are meeting with the priest next weekend in NY. While most of the items we wanted to register for are just that - registered for - we still have a few more items to add. We have yet to pick out a wedding song, but there are 4 that we are trying to choose between. We still have not picked out favors yet - the last thing I want to do is get something that is going to be a dust collector is some one's house. Some ideas have been tossed around, but nothing even close to being final. It is rather funny because we have been engaged for almost 15 months now and I have repeatedly said - Oh, I don't need to rush, it is so far away. Not so much so! In 5 months, I will be taking that long stroll down the aisle arm in arm with my dad. In those 5 short months, we have quite a bit to learn about each other. For the past 4 years, we have gotten to know each other quite a bit, but there are still some things that we don't know about each other. For example - we were sitting on the couch after dinner and Sam and I were discussing our timeline. Needless to say, he ended up telling me that the alarm to by biological clock was ready to start blaring. Thankfully, we will be meeting with a sponsor couple and they will help us get to know each other a little better. Plus, upon completion of the meetings with the sponsor couple, we will be given a compatibility test. Hmmmmmm. Now wouldn't that stink if we failed!
In all seriousness, I am at a place in my life that I did not know if I would ever get to. I am currently in a career that I love and I am about to marry the man of my dreams. He has been so supportive of me both financially and emotionally during nursing school, while studying for the NCLEX, and while looking for a job. He was my shoulder to cry on when I was convinced that I failed every test including the NCLEX. He took joy in telling me "I told you so" when I ended up passing all those tests, including the NCLEX. He was my tissue dispenser when I cried because I thought I did not get my dream job. He treated me to dinner the day I found out that I actually did get my dream job. He makes sure the room is dark and the dog is walked when I get home from working the nite shift so that I can sleep soundly without disturbances. He has faith in me when others don't always have faith in me. He is my confidence booster on days when my hair is a little poofy and my under eye circles are a little too dark. But most importantly, he loves me for who I am. He is someone that I spent years of dreaming about, but didn't know existed. And how many people can say that they wear leopard print shoes and a shirt with jungle animals all over it and not be thrilled?
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” - Judy Garland
Monday, December 14, 2009
A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes!
Below is the speech that I gave last Friday. I was so thrilled to be able to do it. I hope you enjoy it!
"Good evening! Thank you for sharing in this long-awaited joyous occasion with us. On behalf of my classmates and myself, I would like to start off by thanking everyone’s friends and families for being here. For the past year and a half, you have been so understanding when we have failed to return phone calls, backed out on plans at the last minute, got too involved in writing care plans to make dinner, and were too tired to clean the house, wash the dishes, and do the laundry. We studied through family outings and birthday parties, but you still stood by us. Thank you. We have been tired, stressed, worried, and on-edge with bouts of laughing or crying for no reason. And then there were those stories about clinicals that always came at inopportune times – like at the dinner table. On behalf of my classmates and myself, we apologize and thank you for having faith in us and helping us follow our dreams of becoming nurses. We would not be here today without you.
We would also like to thank all of our instructors for guiding us in our journey. You have taught us to be more efficient, helped us overcome boundaries we thought were impossible, and encouraged us to do things we never thought we were capable of doing. You have opened your hearts to us and were available to us 24/7. You have seen us thru the good times and the bad times. Thank you for being such great role models and an inspiration to be phenomenal nurses like you.
The past year and a half at times seemed slow and painful, but at other times flew by. It seems like it was just yesterday that we had the deer in headlites look on the first day of nursing school as we realized the road we had ahead of us. We quickly learned that days got longer and the amount of time that we slept got shorter. Nothing could have prepared us for waking up at 4:45 to go to clinicals. Those were the mornings when I wondered exactly what was I getting myself into? But it is amazing what a pit-stop at Starbucks can do!
Nursing school has taught us many things. We have learned, not just nursing procedures and skills, but we have also learned to not be judgmental - to find out the story before we draw a conclusion. We have learned to love no matter what, how to truly care for whomever is in that hospital bed on the other side of the door. We have learned to treat our patients as we would want our family and friends to be treated – with kindness, compassion, and dignity.
We have learned to really listen to what people are saying as opposed to just hearing what they are saying. We are eager to join the frontlines in making this world a better place.
My desire to be a nurse started when I was very young. I remember when I was about 3, I would make my mom take the rubber bands from the bottom of the broccoli and write my teddy bear’s name on it so it would be a hospital bracelet for him. My teachers from grammar school still remember that I wanted to be a NICU nurse since I was in second grade. I had all intentions of fulfilling my dream when I went away to college, but hit a few bumps in the road and quickly realized that, while this is what I wanted in life, I was not ready to take that journey. After years of trying to find a job that I loved doing and receiving articles about nursing from my mom in the mail, I knew that I had to follow my dream and pursue my passion. April 10th, 2008 will forever be ingrained in my head. I was in my A&P 2 class and one of my fellow classmates asked me if I had gotten my acceptance letter yet. Well, I sat about halfway thru the class and realized that there was no way that I could sit there for the remainder of the time. The 25 minute drive home seemed to last for hours. When I got back to my condo, I called my mom and went down to the mailroom. There it was. An envelope sitting in there just staring at me. Depending on what the response was, I did not want to have a breakdown in the lobby, so I went back upstairs. As I stood there with my heart pounding, my mom started to say, “Marisa, don’t be disappointed if….” Before she could get the sentence out, I started crying. The letter said Congratulations. That was all I needed to see. It was the beginning of my long-awaited journey. And I am sure that many of my classmates have similar stories about their experience.
Right now, we are needed more than ever and our challenge is to learn how to be passionate about our work and be just as excited about nursing 30 years from now as we are tonite.
As this journey comes to an end and we begin the next, I think about the memories we have made that will last a lifetime and the friendships that will endure. After today, many of us will part ways, but we will all have one thing in common. We are nurses. Wherever life takes us, we will make a difference in someone’s life. I would like to leave you with this quote: “To do what nobody else will do, in a way that nobody else can do, in spite of all we go through; that is to be a nurse.”
Congratulations, guys! We made it!"
"Good evening! Thank you for sharing in this long-awaited joyous occasion with us. On behalf of my classmates and myself, I would like to start off by thanking everyone’s friends and families for being here. For the past year and a half, you have been so understanding when we have failed to return phone calls, backed out on plans at the last minute, got too involved in writing care plans to make dinner, and were too tired to clean the house, wash the dishes, and do the laundry. We studied through family outings and birthday parties, but you still stood by us. Thank you. We have been tired, stressed, worried, and on-edge with bouts of laughing or crying for no reason. And then there were those stories about clinicals that always came at inopportune times – like at the dinner table. On behalf of my classmates and myself, we apologize and thank you for having faith in us and helping us follow our dreams of becoming nurses. We would not be here today without you.
We would also like to thank all of our instructors for guiding us in our journey. You have taught us to be more efficient, helped us overcome boundaries we thought were impossible, and encouraged us to do things we never thought we were capable of doing. You have opened your hearts to us and were available to us 24/7. You have seen us thru the good times and the bad times. Thank you for being such great role models and an inspiration to be phenomenal nurses like you.
The past year and a half at times seemed slow and painful, but at other times flew by. It seems like it was just yesterday that we had the deer in headlites look on the first day of nursing school as we realized the road we had ahead of us. We quickly learned that days got longer and the amount of time that we slept got shorter. Nothing could have prepared us for waking up at 4:45 to go to clinicals. Those were the mornings when I wondered exactly what was I getting myself into? But it is amazing what a pit-stop at Starbucks can do!
Nursing school has taught us many things. We have learned, not just nursing procedures and skills, but we have also learned to not be judgmental - to find out the story before we draw a conclusion. We have learned to love no matter what, how to truly care for whomever is in that hospital bed on the other side of the door. We have learned to treat our patients as we would want our family and friends to be treated – with kindness, compassion, and dignity.
We have learned to really listen to what people are saying as opposed to just hearing what they are saying. We are eager to join the frontlines in making this world a better place.
My desire to be a nurse started when I was very young. I remember when I was about 3, I would make my mom take the rubber bands from the bottom of the broccoli and write my teddy bear’s name on it so it would be a hospital bracelet for him. My teachers from grammar school still remember that I wanted to be a NICU nurse since I was in second grade. I had all intentions of fulfilling my dream when I went away to college, but hit a few bumps in the road and quickly realized that, while this is what I wanted in life, I was not ready to take that journey. After years of trying to find a job that I loved doing and receiving articles about nursing from my mom in the mail, I knew that I had to follow my dream and pursue my passion. April 10th, 2008 will forever be ingrained in my head. I was in my A&P 2 class and one of my fellow classmates asked me if I had gotten my acceptance letter yet. Well, I sat about halfway thru the class and realized that there was no way that I could sit there for the remainder of the time. The 25 minute drive home seemed to last for hours. When I got back to my condo, I called my mom and went down to the mailroom. There it was. An envelope sitting in there just staring at me. Depending on what the response was, I did not want to have a breakdown in the lobby, so I went back upstairs. As I stood there with my heart pounding, my mom started to say, “Marisa, don’t be disappointed if….” Before she could get the sentence out, I started crying. The letter said Congratulations. That was all I needed to see. It was the beginning of my long-awaited journey. And I am sure that many of my classmates have similar stories about their experience.
Right now, we are needed more than ever and our challenge is to learn how to be passionate about our work and be just as excited about nursing 30 years from now as we are tonite.
As this journey comes to an end and we begin the next, I think about the memories we have made that will last a lifetime and the friendships that will endure. After today, many of us will part ways, but we will all have one thing in common. We are nurses. Wherever life takes us, we will make a difference in someone’s life. I would like to leave you with this quote: “To do what nobody else will do, in a way that nobody else can do, in spite of all we go through; that is to be a nurse.”
Congratulations, guys! We made it!"
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