Things have been ridiculously hectic since I posted my last blog. I hate going this long without updating. School has been keeping me so busy, but I am absolutely loving it. If there was ever a point during my recent return to school that I thought that I was not cut out to do this, after doing my OB clinicals, those feelings are no longer there. I KNOW this is what I was meant to do!
I got to see a c-section my first day at my clinicals. I didn't really know what to expect. I have never seen any kind of surgery before and I was petrified of going in there. I didn't want to be the one who threw-up, passed out, or even worse - drop a Junior Mint in the patient. So, I kind of stood there off to the side and the doctor told me to get closer so I could get a better view. Then she started to cut. And cut some more. And cut some more. Once she got through the skin and fat layers, there it was, staring me in the face. A pregnant uterus. It was huge. And scary. But, I did ok. Then, she made her incision thru the uterus and this beautiful little face popped out. He took his first breath and he and I both started crying at the same time. It was one of the best experiences of my life.
On my last day of clinicals, I was back to labor and delivery. When I got there, all of the births were done and the patient that was furthest along was only 4 cm. I went in there and she was screaming. All I kept thinking was - Holy crap! If this is her at 4 cm, I don't want to be in here at 10 cm. This patient was not an English speaking patient, supposedly. When asked on a scale of 1 - 10 what her pain was, she had to had someone translate. But all of a sudden, when the nurses and doctors were talking about having to reinsert her epidural, she was able to understand that without a translator AND answered in perfect full sentences without any accent what-so-ever. Hmmmmm. I was a little irritated.
Luckily, I was only in there with her for about 15 minutes. The nurse told me that there was another woman in the room next door who was about to give birth within the next few minutes. So, I flew out of the room I was in and went next door. The patient was an 18 year old girl who had no pre-natal care except for one ultrasound 2 weeks prior because she thought she was in labor then. She was given an estimated delivery date of 8/2/09. She had gone into labor at 4 am and thought they were just false contractions. Well, they weren't. So at 11:15, she was transferred to a bed. The NICU team was there along with the respiratory therapists. No one really knew what to expect. The doctor instructed me to hold one of her legs while she pushed. For anyone who knows how big, or actually how small, I am would know that this would be an interesting job for me. Well, mom pushed.........and I went flying across the room. So 2 other nurses had to come and help me hold the leg. On the second push, the baby was out. It was a little girl. Again, baby cried and so did I. The mom really did not want to see or hold the baby. She was kind of indifferent about the situation. About 15 minutes passed and the respiratory therapists and the NICU team were gone and we were still waiting for the placenta. Well, the doctor examined the patient and asked her if she had ever had any abdominal surgery or uterine surgery. She said no and that is when the doctor stated that we had a problem. Apparently, there was another baby in there. In one push, the second baby was born - 4 lbs 6 ozs. Again, baby number 2 cried and so did I. And again, mom was not impressed. That is about all I am going to tell of the story because once dad got there and kept repeatedly saying that he wanted a boy and was not happy with the twins, I got really sad. I don't even want to think about the life these 2 little girls will lead. And to top it off, dad had 2 other children - 2 boys - a 1 year old and a 6 year old all by different women.
I fell in love with all of the babies I took care of - in the nursery, on mother-baby, and in delivery. My heart was filled with happiness with each little hand I held, each little hair I combed, and each little heartbeat I listened to. I wondered what they would all grow up to look like, what they would be when they got older, and if our paths would ever cross again. I was also praying that the little boys that I witnessed getting snipped would not remember my face! Now that whole process almost made me pass out.
This is something I can easily see myself doing for the rest of my life!
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone