Tiny Eden

Thursday, November 20, 2008

When life hands you lemons......

....throw them at the fool who handed them to you! If the doorbell rings and you spot me through the peep hole standing there with a bag of lemons, do yourself a favor and don't open the door!

When one door closes, another one opens. And I hope you are standing right behind it so that I can hit you with it!

Now that I got that out, I feel better. I have been having a tad bit of built up anger the past few weeks, but I am starting to let it go. I really feel like everything happens for a reason. I am pursuing my passion right now and I think that has been helping me get through everything. Not many people can do the job that they have always wanted to do. I am one of the few who is getting to live out my dream - a dream that I have had ever since I was in second grade. I am becoming a nurse. Some people might think, "Big deal! You are becoming a nurse. Good for you." But this is something that I have always had a passion for. I can't quite describe the feeling that I get when I put on my dorky little white uniform (I have a serious love-hate relationship with that uniform!). It symbolizes the dedication that I am making not only to myself, but to others. But it also symbolizes, "I had french fries with ketchup for my dinner and now it is all over my uniform." I mean, really, white uniforms? I understand the whole sterile look, but you don't look very sterile when you come back from break looking like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat because you have spilled a little bit of everything you ate and your classmates ate on your white uniform. But I digress. When I walk into the hospital to do my clinicals, I am rushed with so many emotions - excitement, passion, joy! My heart starts to race and I get an adrenaline rush. I have never been so excited to go to work. Never. I have had some jobs that I have liked, some that I have tolerated, and some that I have been relieved to get away from. But this is something new for me. I have pride in what I am doing, but most importantly, I have confidence. My uniform seems to transform me into someone who walks a little bit taller, makes solid eye contact with people, makes me smile a little wider. This is the feeling I have been waiting for my whole life. And to think that one nasty comment from a college professor 11 years ago made me lose so much confidence in myself that I put off getting the joy in pursuing nursing for 11 years! I did have the pleasure of having him again as a teacher, but this time, I was older, wiser, more confident, and was not about to put up with his crap. I actually almost started to feel badly for him. In 11 years, he aged terribly, got even rounder around the middle, and his shirts got even shorter so when he erased the blackboard, his stomach hung out. Now keep in mind I said "almost" started to feel badly for him. I am nice, but not that nice. I guess the real kicker was that instead of getting the "D" I got in his class 11 years ago, I got an "A". I am waiting for the day after my graduation to approach him and say, "You told me I was an idiot. I just got my degree in nursing. You better pray this idiot is never your nurse!" But seriously, I have noticed a whole lot of positive changes in myself. It is amazing how when you make a change in your life to live out your dream, it affects your outlook on everything!

To everyone who has a passion but it too afraid to carry it out, don't be! You will be so much happier. You, too, will stand a little taller, laugh a little louder, and smile a little wider.

To everyone who thought they could be mean to me or take advantage of me, think twice. I might be your nurse one day.

And just to let everyone know, Sam is home and is feeling so much better! It is nice to have his smiling face back home!

1 comment:

Lisa Knickle said...

Save this so you can read it when you are a bitter old nurse like me and remember why you became one in the first place.