Long time, no type! I will give the fast forward version of the rest of my pregnancy. My friends and family threw me some great showers. My first one was my shower in NY and it was so great to see all of my friends and my mom and sister's friends. We had the best time! There was only one thing missing ~ my Grams! I know she would have had the best time and I would have loved for her to give my belly some rubs. The next shower was my work shower. This was like something off a Pinterest board. I have some very crafty and talented co workers! It was beautiful! Next, came Sam's work shower. It was great to meet Sam's co-workers. They took time out of their busy day to decorate, have lunch and cake with us, and open some really beautiful gifts. Lastly was the shower Sam's mom and aunts threw for me. It was a whole lot of fun and it was great to see people that I had not seen in quite a while. They served all of my favorite goodies ~ from yummy chicken salad sandwiches to scrumptious cupcakes!
The remainder of my pregnancy was relatively calm. I had a scheduled c-section because the dr's kept saying that the baby's head was somewhere between the 88th and 93rd percentile. When you have an angry pelvis, that wouldn't be a good thing to go the natural route! So, I scheduled my c-section for Wednesday, October 9th. We were all set and ready to go. Unfortunately, Sam was not feeling very well and ended up being admitted into the hospital on October 7th. I was completely panic stricken because I was worried that a) Sam would miss the birth of the only child we were going to be having, b) the nursery was not finished yet and I knew that it would not be easy to finish it once our little friend arrived, and c) what if I went into labor before the c-section? I was a nervous wreck! Thankfully, my OB was willing to do the c-section on Friday, October 11th. Keep in mind, my dr was going on vacation that day, but he rearranged his schedule to come in on his day off to bring our little bundle of love into this world. Now, the next step was to make sure that Sam's dr discharged him on Thursday evening, which did happen. Sam got out early enough so we were able to even have one last date nite at our favorite Italian restaurant.
I looked at the extra 2 days that I was pregnant with Owen as a gift from God. It was extra time that I got to spend with him as close to my heart as possible. I enjoyed 2 more days of kicks, hiccups, and bumps. It was special Owen-Mommy time. I had such a rough pregnancy, I was able to enjoy these 2 days peacefully. I knew this was going to be the only time that I would have this experience so I wanted to make it last as long as I could.
I woke up on Friday morning at about 2 am and was having contractions. We had to be at the hospital at 6:30 am so I figured there was no use in going any sooner. Thankfully, he held out until my scheduled surgery time of 8:30 am. I was a nervous wreck about getting the epidural and bawled my eyes out when they were doing it. In nursing school, I had seen both an epidural being put in and a c-section being performed so I was fully aware of what was going on. There was a nursing student in the room for both and I apologized to her once the epidural was in. It was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be!!!! My surgery was started at 8:52 am and at 8:55 am, our beautiful Baby O was brought into this great big world. Everyone kept saying how cute he was and Sam said he had a lot of hair. It felt like forever before I got to see him. When I finally did, I said, "Oh he really is cute! I was so afraid he would be an ugly baby! And I thought you guys were just telling me he was cute because you had to!". And I know he really is cute because my brutally honest ANM at work said he really is cute. So he has to be!
Once we were in the recovery room, I saw Sam as a whole new person. Owen's blood sugar was low, so they had to stick him a few times and Sam just held his hand and talked to him and rubbed his head the whole time. It was a beautiful thing to watch. While in recovery, I told Sam that I didn't feel like I thought I would once Owen was born. I kept hearing people say that as soon as you hold your baby in your arms, you will feel a love that you have never felt before. I didn't hear angels singing or feel my heart swell with emotion. I was tired and overwhelmed. I felt scared. My life would never be the same. I don't like change. In fact, I hate it. I loathe it. And this was a very big change. Every nite, I sent Owen to the nursery. On Saturday morning, they brought Owen to my room and as soon as the nurse walked out, I burst into tears. I was in too much pain to lift him out of his bassinet and I did not want to call the nurse in and bother her. I barely held him the whole time I was in the hospital because it just hurt too much. When I tried breast feeding, he would not latch on and it was very frustrating. So much so that I would cry when I was in my room by myself and I would pray that my nurse or tech wouldn't come in. I watched Sam bond with Owen and the love he had for him was just pouring out. I was so sad that I did not have the same feeling. This was something I wanted more than anything and had waited so long for and worked so hard to get and I wasn't feeling what I thought I should be feeling. It wasn't until we got home and things settled down that I really looked at him and realized just how in love I was.
So much has changed in the past 7 weeks. I am at the point where I sit and stare at Owen and study every little face he makes, every little movement his hands make, every little smile and smirk, and every little giggle and coo that comes out of that sweet little mouth. Breast feeding has gotten much better. I did way more than I was supposed to when I got home so my pain was pretty severe for quite a few weeks. By day 15 after I had Owen, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight because the pain medication really made me lose my appetite. My OB was kind enough to sew my abdominal muscles back together during my surgery so I don't have too much of a poochy thing going on. The dogs still sleep on the bed with us and we have tried to keep things as constant as possible for them and show them as much love and affection as we did before. Phoebe took to him right away but Lulu needed some time to warm up. She still only licks his hair and then runs away. I can't wait to see the girls and Owen grow up together.
Seven weeks ago, I hated - even loathed - change. It took an 8 lb 1 oz 20" little boy named Owen Vance Byram to open my eyes and make me realize that some change is great.
"Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory." ~Douglas MacArthur
“The best love in the world, is the love of a man. The love of a man who came from your womb, the love of your son! I don't have a daughter, but maybe the love of a daughter is the best, too. I am first and foremost me, but right after that, I am a mother. The best thing that I can ever be, is me. But the best gift that I will ever have, is being a mother.” ~ C. JoyBell C.